a rather random thought @ 12:11 AM
a rather random thought @ 10:53 PM
a rather random thought @ 10:42 PM
a rather random thought @ 2:00 AM
a rather random thought @ 10:53 PM
a rather random thought @ 1:41 AM
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
i sorta openly hoped a job would come and find me
and damm well it rammed straight into me
at least the place's not too bad
but i wont like it if they transferred me elsewhere
but at least i get to see different weird ppl everyday
hmm pretty weird
been reading alot of stuff about decisions and choices
and how they sucked
and how they sometimes dont change anything for the better
read somewhere tt
"in dreams you never do get to make decisons.either tt or there never a decision for you to make at all.you just move as your dream dictates"
aint tt true for life as well
life's is a friggin public good
it takes a bloody hell lotsa effort to exclude the shit parts out
just like decisions i have to make,may it be a hobson's choice or anything else
just like trying to sieve out the fact tt i gotta get my results soon
i'll just put tt lil piece of info somewhere in a dustly corner at the back of my head
i think its a big mess
i think my mind's a big mess
sometimes life just pushes you along
u arent given a choice at crossroads
now how am i gonna get myself outta this
this is one of the few rare moments i feel bit like trash
i'm like being a bum...but wats wrong with bumming arnd for a while
i hate how i cant wipe tt smile from my face even when its crappy inside
came back and went thru my mail
missed a hell lot
and not the least of those were the meetup with dara
like mutherfuckin i totally cannot believe i'm not there
fuck
fuck
fuck
seen many ppl change over the years
but what just really surprised me is the change in dansen
read a few articles from his blog
and he seemed so politically and socially charged and aware
i'm just drifting in the opposite direction
what happened to the guy tt used to like those stuff?
at least i still had that brain up in my skull
active enough for some good reasoning and sense
unlike some dimwit person i know
pls pratice what you preach
dont be a disgrace for my sake
hmm everyone's getting a job
i'm sorta needing a lot of time and space to sort things out
i need to go on a long walk
kinda like the walk i had in china
walked alone the whole day
in the "ancient city" area
i cld do with some walking here..need a lil air
too bad the weather's bad...
and its hot..i think i cant take sg weather anymore
played a lil tennis with qx tday
the heat was totally unbearable
the sun was nuts
thinking of going to all the museums..
to sugei buloh
botanical grnds to walk a lil
turn my backs on all the hustle and crowds
oh and fuck the rach yamagata's concert cost a bomb..$88
so tt's two years of regrets at the mosiac
i think left at such a wrong time
everything looks so weird here
i see ppl in sch uniforms
guessed i misssed the time when ppl ste things straight
noe wats the problem?
i want to juz keep walking
the fact is tt i need a job
go figure
nothing like good old deathcab to lighten things up
fell in love with this song when i had nothing else but my pod to listen to in china
"I remember when the days were long
and the nights when the living room was on the lawn. Constant quarreling the childish fitsand our clothes in a pile on the ottoman.
All the slander and double speak were only foolish attempts
to show you did not mean,anything
but the blatant proof was your lips touching mine in the photobooth.
And as the summers ending
the cold air rush your hard heart away.
You were so condescending,
and this is all that's left scraping paper to document.
I've packed a change of clothes and it's time to move on.
Cup your mouth to compress the sound,
skinny dipping with the kids from a nearby town.
And everything that I said was true
as the flashes blinded us in the photobooth.
Well I lost track when those words were said,
you took the wheel and you steered us into my bed,
and soon we woke and I walked you home
and it was pretty clear that is was hardly love.
And as the summers ending,
the cold air will rush your hard heart away.
You were so condescending,
and this is all that's left scraping paper to document.
I've packed a change of clothes and it's time to move on.
And as the summers ending,
the cold air will rush your hard heart away.
You were so condescending,
as the alcohol drained the days.
And as the summers ending, the cold air will rush your hard heart away.
You were so condescending.
And this is all that's left,
The empty bottles spent cigarettes so pack a change of clothes
'cause its time to move on."--Photobooth
stuff on shanghai and other places nxt time
i dont think i want to marr tt post with the mood i'm in
so this is the 2nd and probably the last post from china
oh and i didnt mention the sunrise on the mt
i have got no bloody word for the whole experience
the lil ball of light rising on the horizon
bit by bit
and the ray of light(i mean for real-like RAYS) reflected and refracted thru the ice on the trees
u noe the weird thing is
i half expected to be hit with some profound thoughts
or some new insights
intead my mind was pretty blank
and the only thing running thru my mind was how i cld make this moment last
and a lil regret tt i cldnt share this amlost magical(cliche, i noe) view with anyone else
emm ok
so this trip's one heck of a new experience
in more ways than one
for one, i didnt came on a "tourist-y" sorta trip
i actually lived here
for about a week after the trip up tt mt
got the slightest of idea on how it'll probaly be if i had to go feed to roos
went a lil to the office-blazer,shirt,pants,the works
seen how the plant worked
i totally familarised my self with the workings over here
streets,places,cafes
seen many ppl,got to know a few
they weird thing is i keep seeing recurring faces of someone i knew in sg
ha u have got no idea how totally weird it is
but i have to say i had a pretty gd life
frigging gd food every day
which wasnt a pretty gd reflection of how other chinese lived
given their norm pay
they earn a lil more than sg-dollar for dollar
but the food we ate avg to like 150 per pax
felt tt the income gap here's horrible
i'm not sure bout the policies here but i dun reckon the govt doing much
went to look at the land,houses and cars here too
the weird thing is that they have got no public housing round where my uncle lived
all condos and pvt
given how my uncle's and dad's accociates were toking bout how they are speculating
the rich gets richer like REALLY fast while the poor probably nibble at the sides
its kinda excting here
being here it self i cld really see and feel the city growing,vibes and pulse of the place
SOARING property prices,living std,etc
and tt's even thou my stay's here only like 2weeks
its a totally diff feeling frm sg-now kinda connects when the the person i met on the hk-shenzen trip said tt sg's atmosphere's kinda slack
and u noe what this place's like jointly developed by sg
so its has the looks of a bloody prime area in sg
but of course its no where as clean and the air pollution is still horrible
however i'll still have to say its a place unlike any i've ever seen-it has no big city vibe unlike shanghai,hk but u can totally feel its gonna be a impt place someday
and if every city start to devloped like this place sg do need to try to run a lil ahead
k i'll update bout my lil trip in the shuzhou old city area alone(which was really personal) and the trip to shanghai when i get back to sg
right now i hav a lil less than 12 hours to the flight to shanghai
and hmm i hate to say this but i think i will miss the place
and esp so when i got familiar to the area and i've climatise to the env.
my uncle told me i'll be a lil pissed off at the temp when i go back and i do believe i'll be true
i'm totaly ok with the temp here being 0-6
think i'll hide myself in the air con everyday
and even thou i do miss sg i'll hate to leave this place
alight i'll leave the rest till i get back to sg
blogging in china
pretty damm lucky my uncle has a computer here
so the mountain wasnt exactly "vertical limts"
but nevertheless its was damm fun and fucking beautiful yeah
the first day was like totally snow mountain
BEAUUUUTIFUL
the day after when it stopped snowing wass damm nice too
esp when we ventured off the path and walked on some cliff with a sheer drop
OMG
it was DAMMMMM dAMMMM DAMMM beautiful
the view was like "THE VIEW" and there was no annoying china men arnd
and the ice that formed on the trees was like making windchime like sounds and the sound of the stream
ahhh....
i just totally wanted to lie there and not move a muscle
its like the sound my studs on the rocks juz sounded so wrong and artificial there
i so wanted to lie there all by myself
like away from everything
away frm the noisy and rude chinamen
away from the noise tt wernt supposed to be there
away frm all my troubles
away from everythng
and guess what there was clouded leopard on the same friggin mountain
like OMG like a bloody dream come true
too bad i did actually see them...tt wld be like "speechless"
bet its was infinte times better thana day at the botanical gardens,bt timah or sungei buloh
oh my
sungei buloh when i go back is gonna pale so much in comparison
updates again nxt time
leaving in bout 6 hours time?
to climb some mountain in china...
this is randomness or spontaneity at its peak
i think i just did the ultimate act in spontaneity
i said yes to a trip up some mountains in china and guess wad the trip's like tml
i had a grand total of one day to get myself prepared
i didnt even tell eveyone where i'm gg
wow i like the way i'm starting the new year
2006 one one of the most hellish year i had
i had lil if not none of any sorta gd memories
i totally dies in aj on all fronts
grinded thru every single second of living hell
the only year tt came close to how bad it was was way back in 2001
when someone in the fam died
maybe i changed a lil in the year grew a lil
or did i?
at least the later part of the year was a lil kinder
and seriously like seriously
i am really thankful
for all the company i had to get thru this torrid year
like seriously everyone
lets hope we'r all be there for a long time
those tt kept me gg in aj just by being there a letting me know i had a life outside and effectively preventin me from going nuts
the manu/soccer/bush gang..bug,qx,hy,dtan,lor,ben...taking up tennis at the later prt of the year was nice..now fer lesson?maybe some beach place hols too
and i was seriosuly dreading tt the grp will dissolve after the hols two years ago
ha how two friggin year have past =)
the cat high ppl...andy,hj,wq,chew,hy,jes,justin
hk was prolly the best time i had in the whole year
and the many other time like andy's race,birthdays or the many random time we went out were no less fun
eh and no need to pledge to be better friends lah no needa to be so really formal...
after all arent we effectively family?hahha
and i have to thank andy lah even thou it was juz like the lillest of lil talk he effectively changed some stuff that he might not even know mid way thru my season
em fb and sc also
was nice meetin ur
c told ya the later part of the year was alot ,ore pleasent
and ha mr phang i noe u'll be reading this lah
hey thanks alot also lah
u were prolly the only guy tt i really bothered to let into my life in aj
and ha fer gg to the retest even thou u had no reason to
hola
sry i'm like not on the com or the phone so many thousand times
pool at sicc soon
aiya dunno why i'm like sooo bloody introspective also lah
prolly cause i fell really empty for missing all the stuff before some of the peeps go into army
this years sorta different frm the rest i hope i dont feel lost
maybe the 13 day things for me to sort out my thinking
and like always some resolutions
i'll keep it short: swear less
spend less
get a job
puncutality pls
but seriously i had a blast in the last week of last year and
hoho same old line didnt regret any bit at all
i wont have traded time with those friends or anything in the world
yikes kinda over aint it
ha
i'm sure i missed outta alot i had set out to write but well.....
and oh yeah
p.s.
for those regular visitors and overnight stayers
annual fees have been increased this year
ha pls pay up to ensure u be able to enjoy the amenities for another year
PROFILE
:: ::
:: 25/05/88 ::
::Gemini::
:: Catholic High ::
:: Anderson JC ::
-oiale_ril@hotmail.com
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*a direction* ARCHIVE
*an aim*
*a purpose*